I’ve been sensing this coming for perhaps as long as I’ve carried this child in my womb–this leaving of social media.
Eight months ago, we traveled to Missouri to attend the funeral of my husband’s grandmother. While there, I realized that we may very well be expecting our third baby. Then the day after the funeral, my aunt, my father’s only sister, passed away. These two deaths, as well as the new life I carried, certainly made an impact on the trajectory of my path, focus, and desires, but like the growing babe inside me, it took time to develop.
First of all, my desire shifted to my family in a monumental way. I wanted to leave a legacy and memory of a mother devoted to her family. In my mind, this took the form of three very specific goals: to stay in contact with my long distant family, to make and preserve memories with our own small family, and to create a peaceful and loving atmosphere at home in which to make those memories.
Fast forward to December, the month of Christmas. My resolve that I had made earlier in the year had stayed, but I wasn’t clear on what path to take. Little seeds were planted through various means–a book, a vlog series, and my own nesting instinct.
My expectant-mama brain was telling me I had better focus on getting our little home in order and systems in place to keep it that way before the baby arrived (or I got too tired in my third trimester to follow through). I also had a strong maternal desire to create cozy Christmas memories with my two growing boys, and I could see how excited they were becoming about the season. By God’s strength and blessing, I was able to give my boys the present of a family Christmas. And, bless his heart, my husband who had to work on Christmas, went above and beyond to go to work in the wee hour of the morning so that he could come home and spend the day with us.
Then as the new year approached, I started looking to one of my favorite mom vloggers for inspiration and she certainly delivered! Inspired by Nikki, a YouTube channel that focuses on all things feminine had a series she called Inspired Homemaking. The series inspired me to once again focus on my home and make it a peaceful place for my family as well as myself. However, another video of hers on a different subject took me back to my resolve to stay connected to long distance family in a meaningful way: cards and letters. Maybe this is when I started seeing social media as cumbersome and distracting. We post our memories and our pictures and we enjoy seeing and sharing, but it’s much less impactful and personal than a printed photo in a hand written card, don’t you think? And because I had missed sending out Christmas cards (once again) this year, a new idea formed in my head, one that I might share with you later.
Around the same time, I ordered a used copy of Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley The FlyLady. (I love Thriftbooks.com!) Although I had studied and tried her method before, I had never read the book. As I read her kind yet challenging words and started applying the systems along with the heart and soul behind it, I began seeing a difference in my home–and the amount of time I spent on my phone on social media (which instantly was cut in half)!
Before the first week of the new year was over, I deleted all social media apps from my phone, almost on a whim. However, like labor and birth, though it may seem sudden, it had been growing inside for many many months, just without the tell-tale baby bump to give it away. Like labor, too, perhaps it was triggered by current (outside) events in a way, but for me, my time had come anyway.
So now, as I wait the arrival of my sweet little bundle, the much anticipated little sister to our two sweet boys, I am feeling like I am transitioning to a new stage of motherhood in more than one way. I see myself as being more present and more capable at home, where before I lacked significant confidence as a homemaker. I also see myself pursuing a different trajectory in making income from home that is not so closely tied to social media. And, finally, I see myself finally putting my effort where it belongs as far as connecting with my family, preserving memories, and creating a legacy are concerned.
I would love for you to follow along with me on this journey. I plan to share in more detail tips on transitioning to less social media in a future post, and what we can and, in my opinion, should replace it with, as referred to in this post.
Also, to be notified of little Lillian Carrie’s birth announcement, you can subscribe here to my blog as it will be the first, and possibly only, place I post!